What do I tell you?

Where do I start? 

Do I tell you to work harder at school 
than you currently are
Would you listen

Do I give you an inventory of regrets
of instances and events that still lie ahead for you
that will mar you 
tar you
and scar you
Do I tell you
so you can prepare for them
or avoid them
and save you
from perceivably a parcel of pointless pain

Do I tell you now about the wonderful person you will marry
till you part in death
The two beautiful children you’ll have together
that will give you more joy than you could possibly imagine
Would that save you from years of relentless worried petitioning
Would that make you more excited about the future 
than you currently are
Would you rest from your restlessness
be more at peace
Would knowing change anything

Do I tell you not to waste so much time 
on those wasteful creative projects
that go nowhere 
that give nothing of value to the world
that you won’t be able to link 
to the career you will choose
filling your storage
with rust and mold
and cobwebs
eventually fuelling your accumulating disappointments

Do I tell you that your life will be filled 
with more failures than successes
Would that plunge you into fatalism
Would I do you a disservice 
if you knew

How do I tell you not to waste your words
encourage you to use them sparingly
like drops of moisture in a drought
storing them like refined grain 
for a life that is trapped in a perpetual famine of meaning
Do I encourage you to bring your words to heel
use them more to heal
and not to hurt
Do I tell you how much your carelessly curt words 
will slight those closest to you
Will it irreparably wound you
if I told you
Would it make you more careful
or would it break you

How do I tell you 
to be wary
more circumspect
and put under scrutiny
the times you are growing up in
And what do I say to you
that will set you free that much sooner
Could you really appreciate the power of the Gospel of Grace
without living through that depressive 
law-bound context
first

Do I tell you 
that your brother will die
that he will crush his own life
as if it were written on paper
outside of that book
and that the wound will remain raw
until you cross over from this world
into the next
Do I tell you that ‘time heals all wounds’
is a platitude
a lie
Would you do more
than you will
to fight his free will
if you knew

How do I convince you 
that the ‘folly of youth’
is a thing 
It exists
is real
and that it will be hot coals on your head
in this future

How do I show you your character flaws 
you are unable to see
The blunt correctional smugness 
you inherited
that you take so much pride in
How do I encourage you 
to be more velvet 
and less hammer
without denting your confidence
and your relentless 
childlike
optimism

Do I tell you about the specific sins 
that are crouching at your door
The ones hidden from you
The ones that will have you
enslave you
shackle you in stocks for the longest time
If I told you 
would it water down 
the grace you will come to value 
and rely on 
more than water and oxygen
Would you be less in love with Jesus Christ
if you were not first overwhelmed 
with this cancer 
you do not yet know 
you have

What can I say to you
that will implore you to place more value 
on wisdom
so much sooner
than you currently are
Which wise person would I nominate for you 
send your way
for you to pay attention to
and crave their words
How do I urge you to pursue truth
layered inside wisdom
with the urgency of a bullet train
or a vaccine
How do I convince you
that your very life and soul depends on that pursuit
Oh how it would have saved you 
from some idiotic decisions
that brought you so close to destruction

If I told you all these things
would I steal away the pleasures
wrapped inside the pains
Would I rob you of the joy of discovery
of learning priceless lessons
the hard way
so that it might be remembered
no
cemented 
into your spirit
and tattooed onto your soul
If I told you…
would I prevent the necessary scaffolding 
being built inside your character 
that would lead you along the road
to where I am right now
writing to you
or would you be further along
than I hope
or not at all
Would I inadvertently crumble 
the prerequisite stepping stones 
you need not to drown
Would my telling you
blind you to other things out of my purview
that I myself cannot see

Do I tell you…
what took me far too long to realise
and reconcile
what far too few have belaboured
that you…
are loved 
by God
Maker of heaven, earth and you
that you’ve always been loved by Him
more than you can possibly conjure
before He ever twisted your sugars into a ladder
you are His beloved
the apples of His eyes
the fire inside of His priest
Jesus Christ
burning unabated and unabashed on His altar and in His chest
just for you
That you are His poem and His art
more valuable to Him
than the precious tribal stones
He wears upon on His heart

Oh if you only knew
how much you are loved
the cosmic price He paid
it would take your breath away
roll the stone from your heart
pour the salt from your eyes
and gush the light from your pores
It would make you a far kinder 
tender
and more loving person 
so much sooner Stephen
It would have saved you 
from so many doubt-riddled days
and broken, 
starless 
nights

Yes

I would tell you only this